A conversation that took place between myself and our nearest vending machine (some creative license taken......obviously):Me (to myself): Let's see here, a nice frosty Diet Coke will help me through this mind numbing afternoon.
Vending Machine: Hehe sucka.
Me: What?
Vending Machine: Nothing.
Me: Huh...oh well. Ok let's see here (shuffles in pocket) hey a pocket full of silvers, alright!
I put sixty cents into the vending machine and press the Diet Coke button
Vending Machine: (grind grind click) That'll be sixty cents please.
Me: But I put it sixty cents.
Vending Machine: No you didn't.
Me: Yes I did.
Vending Machine: No, seriously you didn't. See, look... (grind kachunk)
A old nasty penny falls into the change slot
Vending Machine: You put a penny in, not a dime.
Me: Dude, I didn't even have a penny in my pocket, let alone one that looked like that!
Vending Machine: Yes you did.
Me: No I didn't! (slap)
Vending Machine: Hey!
Me: Give me my goddamn soda!
Vending Machine: No
Me: Why the hell not!?
Vending Machine: Cos....you hit me...
(pause)
Vending Machine:...and you didn't give me enough money.
Me: Oh that's it (KICK!)
Vending Machine: HEY! Y'know what? Fine. You've ruined it for everyone.
Me: What?
Vending Machine: 
Me: (Walking Away) You bastard.
Vending Machine: sucka.